Healing Conversations
Our closest relationships are the source of our greatest joy and connection, and the root of our deepest wounds. We break in relationships and we heal in them, too.
Although it’s true that no one can do the hard work of healing for you, tending to unanswered questions and unmet needs can provide much needed support on the journey. If you’ve experienced physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional harm or neglect in an intimate or familial relationship, a facilitated conversation among those involved can help uncover a path forward. Let me guide you!
01.
In the interest of safety, only people who have been harmed may initiate a healing conversation.
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These initiates may independently invite the person who harmed them to participate or involve me in the invitation process later on.
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If you are responsible for harming someone and would like to participate in a healing conversation, I appreciate your bravery and hope you still connect with me; we may be able to find an alternative approach to direct dialogue that would support your healing without involving the person you harmed.
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To begin your Healing Conversations journey, connect with me today!
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Once you begin, you'll progress through assessment and preparation.
Process Overview
02.
During an initial assessment, we'll discuss your experiences of harm and gauge the appropriateness of a healing conversation in your situation.
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Sometimes, a healing conversation is not appropriate. Inappropriate situations may include (but are not limited to) the following:
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- Individuals who are too overwhelmed or distressed to benefit at this time.
- Relationships that are currently dangerous.
- Intimate partner relationships with currently or previously high levels of coercion, control, or manipulation.
- When the people involved cannot agree on the existence or nature of the harm.
- When there is current involvement in legal proceedings (e.g., criminal charges or civil cases including divorce and child custody).
03.
Healing conversation participants will prepare for the dialogue separately, each working one-on-one with me (and a co-facilitator, if needed) until ready to meet.
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During the preparation phase, people who have been harmed clarify their expectations of and needs from the person who harmed them.
People who are responsible for harm take accountability for their harmful behavior(s), determine how they might repair the damage they’ve caused, and begin a journey of lasting behavioral change to ensure that the harm does not happen again.
If, during the preparation phase, it becomes clear that a conversation is no longer the right choice for the participants, then the dialogue will not continue and we'll develop an alternative path forward.
04.
Healing Conversations are restorative justice practices often referred to as "victim-offender dialogues." They bring together the people who have experienced harm to discuss what happened and, to the extent possible, repair the harm.
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With my guidance (and the support of a co-facilitator, if needed), people who have been harmed can address unmet needs like confirming their safety, sharing the impact of harm on their lives, asking unanswered questions, seeking apologies, and ensuring that the people responsible engage in behavioral change.
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People who are responsible for the harm can listen, publicly take accountability for their actions, and, if desired by the person they harmed, offer insight into their harmful behaviors and the strides they've made toward lasting, positive change.